I Hate that You Love me
by Near to Mello
Summary: Mello hates Near. But it wasn't always like that. Ten years ago, Mello, Near and Matt were best friends, but now Mello hits, and rapes Near, while Matt does nothing... What ever happened? rated M! MelloxNear a lil MelloxMatt & NearxMat
1. I was Young

**A/N: **I am in love with Death Note, so I wanted to make a story. And of course... I had to make a YAOI!

This story is rated M for language, sexual content, rape, and other stuff... :P

I won't put who's point of view it's by in each chapter (it'll be different in each chapter) but you'll figure it out after the first few sentences.

ENJOY!

* * *

His eyes widen as I entered him, his mouth wide open in a silent scream, and his tiny hands gripping the sheets of the bed. For a second, I didn't move, but then he began to tremble. His breathing became heavy, and, if possible, he became paler.  
I moved out slowly, and then pushed back in. This time he let out a loud scream. I couldn't help but to smile.

"What's my name...?" I mumbled in his ear.

He whimpered, trying to say it.

"What's my name?!" I yelled. I began moving in and out of him, listening to his screams that echoed in the room. It filled my ears with joy. "WHAT'S MY NAME, BITCH!"

"M...Me...llo..." He whimpered.

"SCREAM MY NAME!" I yelled.

I knew he couldn't. He was too weak to even breathe properly. I thrust harder into him. He began to bleed. Without noticing it, I started laughing.

"WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME?!"

"MELLO!"

With that I came deep inside him.

I took deep breaths before pulling out and smiling in victory.

I leaned closer to his ear and whispered. "I hate you..." I paused. "Because you love me, Near."

I slowly got up and began to get dressed. Near didn't move, he stayed lying face down on the bed, breathing heavily.

"This will be our little secret, okay?" I smiled.

Near just nodded.

"Now you get cleaned up, mister." I told him. "If Roger sees you like that, I'll have to kill you."

Near nodded again, trying to get up. I walked toward him, once I had finished getting dressed, and took his hand. I pulled him up and kissed him softly on his small, pink lips. He kissed me back slightly. I licked his lower lip asking for entrance. He opened his mouth letting me explore it. Our tongues danced around for a few minutes, until I pulled back.

Near looked at me, his eyes filling with tears. I smiled at him, and then slapped him. He fell off the bed, and landed with a loud thud.

"I don't want to see you crying. Do it when I can't see you, not in my face." I warned him.

He nodded and slowly got up. I looked down at him. Almost feeling sorry for him. I knew he was too weak to do anything, so I decided to help him clean up.

I leaned down and grabbed his hand. I pulled him to him feet and pushed him toward the bathroom. It was very well past midnight, so no one would be awake.

We entered the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I walked toward the shower, rolled up my sleeves, and turned the tab to hot. I turned to Near. He was looking down, tears running down his pale cheeks. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the shower.

He got in and just stood there, trembling slightly, letting the water wash away the blood.

I sighed. "Can't you do anything?!" I grabbed the sponge and soap and began scrubbing his back side. That's when I finally noticed the many bruises he had. Of course, I had made all those.

I stopped for a second and ran my hand down his back, down to his butt. His entrance was covered in blood.

"Mello, your shirt is getting wet." I heard Near say.

I snapped out of thought and looked at my shirt. "GAH!" I quickly took it off. Well, I might as well get in too. I took off my pants and boxers and got in the shower with Near.

I grabbed the sponge again and continued washing Near.

"Turn around." I mumbled.

Near did as told, and turned to face me. I scanned his front, looking at all the bite marks and bruises I had left. I stared at the bite marks on his neck, which had blood around it. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against it. Near whimpered. I closed my eyes and kissed his neck lightly then moved up to his lips. He kissed me back. I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around my neck. I ran my hand down his sides, and stopped at his ass. He broke the kiss when he whimpered. Something told me he wasn't going to be able to sit for a while.

I kissed him again, and squeezed his ass. He whimpered again. I smirked. I loved hearing him whimper. It always got me hard.

"Get on your knees." I whispered in his ear.

Near looked at me then nodded. He got on his knees in front of me and looked up, waiting for his next command.

I pointed at my dick. "You got me hard…"

Near looked down and blushed. He pressed his lips against the tip of my dick, then opened his mouth and moved forward. I moaned. He began bobbing his head, sucking and licking. I moaned louder.

Man I hated him, but he sure knew how to give a blowjob.

I moved my hips slightly, placing both my hands on the back of his head. I heard a small whimper come from Near. He knew that this meant. I smirked, and pulled his head toward me, at the same time thrusting my hips forward, making Near choke.

I moved back then thrust into his mouth again. I did this a couple of times until I finally came. "AH!"

I let go of Near. He moved back and swallowed. He coughed a couple of times.

"Get up… come on…." I said.

Near slowly got up and looked at me. I stared at him. It had been a few years, but he hadn't changed at all. He was still the like the little five-year-old that was so innocent and so scared of everything I had met ten years ago.

We finished washing up and returned to Near's bedroom. I got dressed and helped Near into his pajamas then tucked him in bed. After a few minutes he'd fallen asleep. I stared down at him.

I leaned down and kissed his forehead.

I exited his room, making sure no one was around. I sighed and began walking toward my room.

I opened the door to find Matt playing with his PSP. It was around two in the morning, but this gamer never stopped playing.

Without looking away from his PSP he mumbled. "Punished Near again?"

I smirked. "Why, yes... I finally fucked him! His entrance is so tight! And I made him scream my name… It was fun."

He shook his head, and kept playing. "You once liked him, remember?"

I froze. "That was a long time ago, Matt." I sighed. "I was young, and ignorant."

I lay down on bed, remembering when I met Near.

--

I ran toward Roger. I was about five years old. He had a small, white person standing behind his left leg, holding a pink teddy.

_"Roger, who's the midget?"_ I asked.

Roger glared at me. _"His name is Near. Can you show him to his room? It's the room next to yours; I have some paperwork to do." _

_"Sure."_ I smiled. _"Come on."_ I took the small person's hand. It was tiny. _"Follow me."_

He didn't follow me, but I sort of dragged him to his room.

When we had reached his room, he began to cry.

_"What's wrong?" _I mumbled.

He stayed quiet.

_"Are you scared?" __  
_

He nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

_"Are you scared that people won't like you?" __  
_

He looked up at me as if I was reading his mind.

_"I felt the same way when I first came here. But don't worry. I'll be your friend." __  
_

He smiled at me.

I blushed. He was adorable. _"I like you..."_ I mumbled. _"You're cute..."_

--

"I was wrong…" I mumbled, slowly falling asleep.

* * *

**I know... I know... Mello's an asshole and a caring person at the same time! I don't know how that works out but it does! O.o **

**REVIEW**


	2. Name, Please

**A/N:** Okay I decided to make all the chapter in Mello's POV mostly cuz that would make things so much easier and you peoplez can know what the little devil is thinking.

* * *

The small kid from before ran outside, his oversized pajamas tripping him every few steps. I watched him as he clumsily made his way around the garden. His skin seemed so bright and full of color (mostly his cheeks). His eyes were glowing. I had to admit that I did like his silver-ish eyes. However I absolutely hated it when they seemed completely black and emotionless. Luckily his eyes were rarely black anymore. I wonder why….

"_Chocoholic…?!_"

His small squeaky and worried voice startled me. I focused again and saw he was looking around anxiously._ Sheesh_… It was so hard to play hide and seek with this kid.

I shifted my position to sit more comfortably on the tree branch.

_**CRACK**_

My eyes widen. No! Don't brea—

I heard a small gasp and felt a sharp pain on the back of my head.

"_Ow…_" I sat up brushing the leaves and twigs off me. "_Damn tree…_" I stuck my tongue out at its direction.

"_C-Chocoholic…!!_"

I turned around and noticed the 'white sheep' running toward me. He sat next to me and stared at me worried.

"_Are you okay, Mister Choco-ho—_" I cut him off putting two fingers on his lips.

"_Stop calling me that._" I snapped withdrawing back my hand to my side. "_I am not a chocoholic… I can quit any time I want…_"

He giggled softly. I smiled.

"_I found you--…_" His eyes widen a bit and he bit his lip. "_U-uh… what's your name?_"

I stared at him. I hadn't told him my name? Really…? Well I had just met the kid yester day and we only hung out for a few minutes before Roger started having a bitch fit telling me to go to my room.

I never got a chance to ask '_Name, please...?_' (yes... I am polite from time to time...)

"_Miha—_" I stopped myself. I can't believe I'd almost forgotten Wammy's most important rule!! 'Never give out your real name.' I sighed and whispered. "_Mello._"

He leaned closer to me, his mouth slightly opened.

"_What?_" I backed away a bit.

"_Meadow?_" He squeaked.

"_What?! When the hell did I say my name was Meadow?!_"

"_O-oh… that's what I heard._" His pink lips formed into a small pout.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from him making sure my hair could cover my face and hide the blush. I curse whoever allowed such a… dangerous… child to me so damn cute. I smiled at the thought.

"_I said M-E-L-L-O._" I said, louder this time, turning to him.

He was smiling. "_Oh. I am N-E-A-R._"

I half closed my eyes and stared at him a bit annoyed. "_Near?_"

"_Near._" He repeated with a short nod.

"_Sounds stupid._"

His eyes became teary. "_S-stup-pid?_" He stuttered.

"_U-uh! I didn't mean…_" I trailed off.

"_Nate River!_"

--

I shot upright. My eyes were wide, my breathing heavy and my hands gripped the sheets tightly. I looked around the darkness of my room. The only source of light was that of Matt's PSP. He must have fallen asleep playing again.

I took a deep breath and laid back.

_Nate River._

I mouthed the name, breathing out slowly. Calming down a bit.

_Near._

My eyes narrowed.

What was so different from the two names? They still belonged to the same person… The same stupid… pathetic… ignorant… selfish… adorable… little sheep…

I took grip of my hair wanting to rip it from its roots for just thinking of him that way!!

He wasn't adorable. He was ugly. He was stupid. He was so…

I stood up and walked out the room and headed toward the bathroom. I didn't bother to turn the light on. I just went over to the sink and turn on the cold water. I cupped some in my hands and splashed on my face.

"I hate you Near…" I mumbled. "I… … … Nate River…"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay… I know not much happened in this chappy but I wuz in a hurry and I needed to get this important piece of the puzzle out soon!!! So haha! Cliffy time!! :3

I promise to update soon this time!!!! Pinky swear!!!

**Review!!**


End file.
